Why flirting with someone else while in a relationship is actually a good thing
Sometimes we start flirting without even knowing, being in a relationship or not.
A lot of people see this as some sort of cheating when they are in a relationship, but this is actually a good thing if you know how to manage.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not telling to starting flirting randomly (unless that's what you want). When you are flirting with someone else you might feel guilty or scared, but mainly you feel happy, good, that's the only reason you are flirting anyways right?
I'm going to list the pros and cons about flirting with someone and explain why then tell you that are in a relationship how you can use that flirting to improve your current relationship(the reason of flirting being good).
*Pros
- Feeling sexy! When feeling sexy is a bad thing? Feeling desired by other people is a great feeling(Unless well you just don't like to feel desired), It boosts your self-esteem and confidence about yourself even more if you are slacking a little bit in self-care after you entered a serious relationship( don't slack! ).
- We feel free! We can say what we want, we can be bold, we can be honest or not, and it's really good to talk about whatever we want, whenever we want about anything with someone who is giving you so much attention.
- You feed your desire! Finding the long lost connection you had with your partner, maybe just sextalk you miss, you tell me what desire they are feeding you on!
- The Danger! Oh, it's fun to feel the thrilling of something new, dangerous, being afraid of getting caught flirting, some people say the dangerous the better, who knows.
- Looks! Well, this one is almost self-explanatory, who doesn't get the physical attraction for someone good looking, and flirting with good-looking people is awesome.
- Admiration! Flirting with someone you admire is really nice, you get to know more about the person you used or admire on a romantic level.
* Cons
- Starting to have real feelings! While you have a relationship you are comfortable, safe, loving, you tell me, but starting to have real feelings to an unknown person, someone you don't know besides the flirt, it might get you confused or thorn apart between the flirt and the current relationship you are.
- Getting caught! Ooooh boy! Getting caught by a friend is shameful but getting caught by your partner...ouch, can be tragic, really tragic... Breakups happen often because of this, divorce, heated discussions, you name it, it's just....really bad.
- You stop giving the attention you used to give to your love! Well while this is bad not just for your partner, it's bad for you too, not only slowly killing the relationship little by little you stop caring, you start talking less while caring and communication are solid foundation base to a relationship.
- Comparing! Why? The moment you start comparing your partner with the new flirt or the other way around(if the flirt has too many qualities), things can get really ugly, comparing will fly like a hot pan on each other faces.
- You went too far and cheated! While this is the worst case scenario is for the relationship, it can be the best part for you, it all depends on how you feel about your relationship right now, usually people regret this, sometimes is too late, the guilty will consume you, if they discover the relationship will in most cases die, cheating on someone who loves and cares for you is the same as ripping their heart.
- Guilty! You feel guilty for what you have done or what you are still doing, because it's not fair for your partner, and you know that, put yourself in their shoes (if you have empathy of course). And believe me, you would hate if they were flirting with someone else, the guilty is even higher if you know how much they love you.
Well, I listed some examples of the good and the bad things about flirting, but how is that good for the relationship? Flirting while in a relationship get you to rediscover yourself.
Rediscovering yourself is the main part of the flirt, you remember how you felt when you started to date your current boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife in early days, since we all change when we " Settle down, get comfortable with each other" or when the honeymoon stage ends( first part of the relationship ).
It's really great to see what is lacking in your relationship, the communication, fun, excitement, connection, etc. But knowing what's lacking you can start working to make your relationship better again, it's like pouring oil in the small fire that your relationship currently have.
(via freepik)
The other great thing is discovering how you are treated in the relationship. If you are being mistreated, not being cared, verbally abused, emotionally abused, physically abused, or not being loved at all. With flirting you can find someone who actually cares about you, serious intentions to be with you.
While it's entirely up to you how you are going to use that flirting to your benefit, remember that you are the one who can choose how you are going to act while flirting, what impact that is going to have in your relationship, will you make your relationship better after knowing what's lacking right now? Or have you had someone who's much better to you in that process?
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