A peep talk to myself after a breakup with a narcissist

My brain and my heart talking after the breakup.

"Heart you have to stop crying " sights, "you are making me confused, when you're hurting you hurt me too, I'm having a hard time to focus here."

"But it hurts, I can't do anything about it, I miss her."

"I understand your pain heart, I can feel it too, that's why you have to stop it, doesn't make any sense."

"What!? What you are talking about? How doesn't make sense? Can't you feel what I feel? I love her, I miss her!"

"I know that I told you I understand, I can feel too, but I'm rational and logical is not made to make sense with emotions like you are, but you have to work with me too."

"I'm so sorry to hurt you too brain, but I love her, you have to understand that I can't live without her love."

"You are living already, with or without her you always lived. You fell in love and you got addicted to that feeling, but hey, you have to let it go, she is gone, she left you."

"No! She's out there, you know that! Why you are not helping me to get her back instead of saying those hurtful words? Think harder! I want her back, you want her back!"

"There is something that i have to tell you. You miss being in love, you miss someone that made you feel whole, but you were whole already, you were whole since you were born. She made me so happy too, I didn't have to think so much in that time, I just went with your decisions, I became lazy, just agreed with emotions and feelings, I was happy to heart, you know that."

"Then why you are not helping me? You are feeling this pain as much as I am!"

"Because she never loved you...I'm sorry, But that's the truth, she never loved you, she lied to you all this time, she manipulated and controlled you all this time."

"No! She didn't lie to me! I know she didn't! Couldn't you feel us? You helped me when we were together, you made our meeting to be real, you chose the words, you talked with her, brain."

"I know that and I'm really sorry, I got carried away, it's my fault. But what you don't understand is that everything she did was to play you,she made you happy,sad,angry because she could,because she wanted,but don't me wrong, she made you feel all this torrent of feelings intentionally, she did that to see your pain, to see you grieve. She gave you everything and stripped everything away from you over and over again, she did that to us."

"No! You are wrong! I know how I feel, I love her more than anything, I love her even more than I love you!"

"It hurts to hear that you love her more than me, I'm not made to love, it made to do think what's wrong or right, I'm the one who moves us forward, but you are the one who rules the body we reside. We have been together since the start, we helped each other since birth, our birth."

"You are right, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry brain, you are right I shouldn't have said that I love her more than you, I'm just angry and sad, you know how much I miss her, it's clouding my judgment."

"I know...and that's why I need to help you now. Let me take over, let me rule, let me control us in a rational way like I did before her, for a little bit, just rest now, you have to be in peace, happy and healthy. When the time is right and you picked up the shrapnel of yourself again, I'll take us on an adventure, we might find the one, the true one."

"Really? But what about her? You are going to forget about her? Our memories?"

"You are the most amazing thing in the world heart, I can't live without you, that's why I have to change, I have to change the memories we had with her, so you can rest so you can enjoy life again. I have to end this for good. Like I said she played you. I'm going to reshape myself, I'm going to reshape my memory, our memories."

"What you mean reshaping our memories?"

"I'm going to change the way I used to see her inside me, every time she appears in my thoughts I'll remember that she played us, she manipulated us, she wasn't made to feel empathy or love, she a narcissist, she only thought about herself."

"I'm going to feel better again? I'll be able to love again? I don't know if I can love someone else anymore, the brain"

"You can, you will, you were made to love, you were made to feel, but don't forget that loving isn't enough, you have to be loved too."

"I'm feeling sleepy. Brain, can I sleep now?"

"Rest, my friend, rest my pulsating friend. When the time comes, you are going to feel love, you are going to be loved by most beautiful heart in the world."

I suffered so much from the breakup I had a month ago, I couldn't sleep, eat, work. For the first 2 weeks, all I did was lie in bed, crying, hoping to fall asleep, just to avoid the pain, discovered that my ex is a narcissist. After a lot of research trying to find out a way to find some sort of closure since I wasn't talking with her( No-contact ), I discovered why we had so many fights over small things, why she was so reckless and vicious with someone she said she loved, I couldn't understand, I would never do something hurtful for her even if I'm mad, angry. Discovering she was a narcissist got me up again, I can hibernate now, I can eat like a pig that is about to get butchered, I can work with a smile on my face again. Being able to peep talk with my inner self-helped me greatly. Being a rational person, I was looking for a rational way to explain what happened and turns out that i found what i needed to finally get a closure from the breakup. We all suffer, we have to find a way to move on, we are made to move on.
Share What You Think About This Post!

Popular Posts