Transforming our idealized dream relationship real

How many of us if not almost everyone idealized someone?

We want  a prince, princess ,riding a white pegasus appearing in our lives, right? Well everyone once had idealized the perfect someone in our childhood. The thing is, a lot of people continue to hope that.

There is still so many idealist day dreamers out there, and we have a really hard time finding the " ONE ".

Everyone have their standards and ideals in a relationship, but the majority of those people falls in love with someone  and gets love intoxicated, the passion , the honeymoon phase, first stage of a relationship, your call for the words. And a great part start idealizing their love right there.

Barely started a relationship or didn't even initiated anything we are thinking in how many children we want, what kind of house we are going to live, marriage, how i expect him/her doing this and the list goes on forever.

I have been idealizing and dreaming about someone, that i had a crush, i was projecting my ideals and dreams into my ex-girlfriend too, well everyone knows what happened, both went all wrong and i was left in a void of myself.

After experiencing these two case scenarios in my life i was always thinking what went wrong, why she couldn't be more like this or that, after insane amount of questioning myself and the relationship over and over again and reading about breakups randomly over the web i came to a conclusion that was here all the time, everyone always talked about improving ourselves and our reality but this time i finally understood looking with different eyes that came from prior experiences i had in a relationships.

While you kept only projecting your ideals in your girlfriend you stopped seeing her.

So how can we change our idealized, dreamt relationship into a " Real " thing?

First of all we have to discover ourselves, what we can give?how much effort you are willing to do for something you want? our negative and positive aspect we have? what we love? how to love ourselves?

All these answers have to come sincerely and deeply inside of yourself only, because that what you are. I can tell you are a beautiful thing! But you have to feel the same way too, you have to love yourself for what you are, for what you are going to be, love all your quirks and keep it. Cherish and love all of your traits, these traits define who you are, if you want to work in something that you feel it's going to be better for you, then by all means work and change to feel better about yourself, love who you are, love what you are becoming, know your values, be proud of yourself.

        Source: medium

After recognizing  who you are or reconnecting with yourself, you will know what you can add to a relationship, you know your worth, you know your values.

The main issue we, idealistic people have in a relationship is living in our idealized thoughts instead of reality.

The checklist has to contain what we expect from someone like : Loyal?Faithfull?Companion?Caring?Compassion? you know what you want for you now. 

Checklist 2#. They must contain traits that we consider negative.

Checklist 3#. Choose the more important trait someone must need for you to be in a relationship.

Checklist 4#. Choose the negative traits you can live with.

(Don't be too pickie unless is a MUST have or must now have )

This checklist is critical for your next relationship, Because now you understand your values, you now have a real standard, a standard achieavable in reality, not only in clouds that we sit alone, sometimes we have to step down to earth to bend to these "humans".

It takes time to know someone, but the only way to transform our idealize relationship is meeting someone, that holds the traits that are truly important to you, and that comes with time, getting to know someone is ideal before engaging in a romance, but be sure to flirt now and then, keep her/him interested in you.

Instead of projecting and expecting our dream partners in our current or future relationship, you are looking at them, not picturing the images you created in your clouds that we live alone.

Some minor traits can be slowly changed and fixed, but only applies to your minor traits, so speak your mind! You can't change someone because you want, they have to change or fix because they want to do that, the same applies to you, if changes are needed they have to be from both sides, acknowledging that both want to put effort and commitment for those changes, support each other to make that happen. Happy hunting!

Speak with yourself, understand who you are and what you want, look more to the reality that is in front of us instead of hiding in our safe haven for comfort, and i can promise you that the " ONE " isn't a prince/princess riding a pegasus, they are people like you, that you will love and respect and will have the same thing in return.

          Source : Dreamlove

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